I had a very interesting experience recently. My car broke down and I had to borrow the L300 van of the church. For the first few days of using the van I found out the horn was defective. In other words it didn’t work. And for Filipino driving the horn is very important! Unlike in other countries where the blowing of the horn is considered disrespectful, here in our country the blowing of the horn is a necessity! There are many occasions where we love to blow our horn. When a car slowly or suddenly swerves towards us we blow the horn to warn them that we’re right beside them, or when they slow down at the middle of the road to talk to someone (yes, that still happens in less populated and small cities like where I live in) blowing the horn is important. And with all the motorcycles and bikes in our roads it is so important to warn them that there are vehicles sharing the road with them! Or even pedestrians who just choose to cross when and wherever they want to. Of course there are those drivers who are just plain disrespectful, who blow the horn just like they talk, and just blow it whenever they want to.
And so imagine my predicament of driving a van without a horn! It was a nightmare for a while! Every time another car would slowly swerve my way, I couldn’t do anything but slow down. When pedestrians would cross, I would be forced to give way. And when driving beside a motorcycle or biker I would be watching them closely making sure that I would not hit them.
But after one day of adjusting, I found myself driving differently. First I was driving slower, just to make sure that I did not bring myself into a situation where I needed to blow my horn. If a car would swerve my way, I found myself giving way. And if a car slowed down, or would not move right away when the traffic light turned green, I would just patiently wait, not able to blow the horn anyway to remind him to go. It made me realize that there are times when we just blow our horn for such minor reasons that it becomes irritable, rather than necessary.
As I was driving I thought - this is what it must be like when we have to hold our words. Just like cars we have a tendency to blow our horns, speak words recklessly and disrespectfully, whether it is called for or not. Most of the time we are lead by our emotions, whether it is anger or irritation with others. Sometimes, just like the traffic around us, people “swerve” into our space, or they may do things that we disagree with. And we warn them, or shoo them away, with our words.
There are a number of commands of the Lord in Scripture that warn us of the misuse of our words. For example:
Proverbs 17:27-28 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.
Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.
Using words with restraint is a characteristic of a man of knowledge. Keeping silent and holding our tongue is a wise and discerning thing, even for a fool. There are times we need to speak, but this does not mean that we speak what we want and when we want. It always pays to discern and pray for what words to use.
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
The use of our words must come from a proper and pure motive – to build others up according to their needs. There are reckless people who need to be corrected. There are those who hurt us, jump start our anger, who need to be told. Never in Scripture is it taught for us to hold our emotion, even anger, but it is clear that the words we use are to be wholesome, encouraging, rather than destructive.
Let us live life as if our “horns” were defective. If someone tries to swerve recklessly our way, or does something we disagree with, let us discern and pray before we blow off our words out of our mouth. It is better to be silent, patient, understanding, rather than destroy someone with our words.
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