Faith Swings

There are times when I suffer from "Faith Swings" (my own personal invented term).  Similar to mood swings, but with this it deals with faith.  There are many times when, like a pendulum, my faith will swing from strong to weak.  Sometimes I feel it's more like from strong to none at all!  Many times it makes me wonder why I am a Christian, why the Lord called me to be a pastor, and during really down times I sometimes begin to doubt if God actually listens to me.

I think we all have our weak areas of life where our faith is tested.  There are many areas of life where my faith has passed the test, and even now when I go through those trials my faith remains.  But it seems like the Lord allows certain areas of our life where our faith is continually tested...for me it's my family.  When a family member is sick, in pain, and there is almost nothing you can do, I tend to panic.  I pray with panic, rather than with faith.  I become anxious, and many times impatient with regards to their healing or recovery.  This is one of my down areas of life.
And, as always, the Lord works and brings healing and recovery.  And not without my feeling ashamed of how I panicked and became impatient.  I eventually ask for forgiveness, and ask God to teach me, strengthen my faith, to prepare me for when it may happen again, that my faith may be strengthened again and again.

During my recent struggle with faith I came to the Lord, ashamed as always for my lack of faith, and came to Him with a humbled heart, and asked "Lord, is there anyone in the Bible who was like me, whose faith wavered even just for a while".  And in my heart I "heard" an answer from God...it was like a divine whisper.  And His answer was "My Son".  God's Son, my Savior and Lord, was that someone in the Bible whose faith wavered!
And immediately I remembered the event in the garden of Gethsemane:

Matthew 26:36-39  Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray."  (37)  He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.  (38)  Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."  (39)  Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."

During these last moments of His life, our Savior was overwhelmed with sorrow, and actually asked the Father if it was possible not to let His crucifixion continue.  But the whole time ends with our Savior saying "Yet not as I will, but as you will".  There was submission.

I have my Savior and Lord, my God now seated at the right hand of the Father, who went through exactly what I go through.  If there is anyone who understands, who can identify with us, it is Jesus Himself!  In His humanity he was overwhelmed and actually asked God to take away the circumstance He was about to face.  But His faith prevailed, and submitted to the sovereign will of His Father.

This is why we can call upon Him, and He will surely comfort us and restore us, because He Himself went through it, and was restored.

Hebrews 2:17-18  For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people.  (18)  Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Hebrews 4:15-16  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin.  (16)  Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

This is why eventually, even with bouts of "faith swings", we will eventually pass the test and our faith will be strengthened, because we have a God who sympathizes with us, and will strengthen us and see us through.

This was the Lord's promise to Simon:

Luke 22:31-32  Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat.  (32)  But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."

It is our Lord Himself who will make sure that our faith will not fail.  All we have to do is to call upon Him, no matter how down or weak our faith may be.

Asking for a Sign

Have you ever asked God for a sign?  I have to confess, I have...a lot!  I think it is normal for us human beings, dependent on our senses and intellect, to ask God for a sign or confirmation for His will, or even His love for us.

David asked for a sign in Psalm 86:

Psalms 86:17 (NIV)

¹⁷Give me a sign of your goodness,

that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,

for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me.

Many times I have quoted this verse in my prayers to the Lord.  And many times He has graciously shown me a sign or two of what I was requesting from Him.

But there were quite a number of occassions and circumstances when there were no signs.  And God was just asking me to trust Him totally.

Sometimes it seems like a lack of faith, just as with the Jews when Jesus was walking among them

John 4:48 (NIV)
⁴⁸“Unless you people see miraculous signs and wonders,” Jesus told him, “you will never believe.”
It's true, right?  Sometimes our belief in our Lord becomes dependent on signs that He will show of who He is and what He has promised us He would do for us.
There are times in life when we need to walk by faith, and just trust in His promises for us, and trusting in who He is.
But, as human as we are, we still look for signs.

This is why, I believe, the greatest sign was given by our Lord when Thomas just could not believe Jesus was alive (we call him doubting Thomas...hopefully not out of judgment but because he is so much like us!).
John 20:24-25 (NIV)
²⁴Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. ²⁵So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”
But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.”

There are many times when we cannot see our Lord in certain circumstances.  The problem, the hardship, the pain, seem to overwhelm us and overshadow the reality of our God and His promises.
But Jesus was gracious enough to deal with the doubt of Thomas:
John 20:27-29 (NIV)
²⁷Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
²⁸Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
²⁹Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

What sign did our Lord show Thomas?  He said "see My hands...reach out your hand and put it into My side".  Jesus showed Thomas the proof of His dying on the cross, the price He paid to save us from our sins.  There is no greater expression of His love than that.
There is no other sign that we need.

So, if we ever come to a situation where our circumstances seem to question the love and faithfulness of our God remember the cross!  It was in the cross where our Savior and Lord showed the ultimate expression of His love and faithfulness to us.  There is no greater expression of love than dying for us, even while we were still sinners.  No greater love.

So, when circumstances in our life seem to question the love and faithfulness of our God go back to the cross.  He already showed us the extent of His love.  It's impossible that He will not show it in our everyday circumstances.

Attending Sunday Worship

I was in Manila over the weekend to officiate a wedding.  I arrived on a Friday, the wedding was Saturday afternoon, and I had the whole day of Sunday to wait for my evening flight back home.  When I woke up Sunday morning I did not feel like going to a worship service here.  I was not home, not where my local church was, and I was a little tired from all the travelling that is a norm for Manila life.  After my morning prayer I went to a coffee place so I could have my usual morning caffeine fix and to spend time surfing the internet and maybe do some thinking and planning.

But it was as if my heart was not satisfied.  It was a Sunday, the day when the Lord gathers His people to come together and worship Him.  I had to worship.  I needed to worship.  I checked my watch, it was 10 minutes to 11am.  I checked with my father-in-law what time the next service of his church was, and he said 11am!  And I was right in the building where his church holds their worship service.  So, after gulping down the last drops of coffee left in my mug, I went up to the church service to worship.
And I was thankful that I did.  Through the songs I was able to worship.  I was in the presence of brethren who were also there to worship.  I listened to a preaching of the Word (something that I rarely have a chance to do, since I am the one the Lord uses to preach).  The pastor did not preach as I do, which, of course, I shouldn't expect...but the word was preached.  And I was encouraged.

And I left the worship service thankful in my heart that I had obeyed the prompting of the Spirit to gather with fellow believers that Sunday and worship.  My heart was satisfied that day.

Psalms 122:1  A song of ascents. Of David. I rejoiced with those who said to me, "Let us go to the house of the LORD."

When we travel, and are in a different place, maybe on vacation in a foreign land, there is always the temptation not to look for a church where we can worship on a Sunday.  Actually, we don't even have to be somewhere else...sometimes in the comfort of our own home, lying in our bed, Sunday morning, after working for the past 5 or six days, there is always that temptation not to gather with fellow believers to worship.   We would rather stay home, rest and make that excuse that "anyway I can worship the Lord on my own, from my heart, and that will probably be acceptable to God".

Everyday, as individual believers, we are called to worship.  God deserves our worship everyday, a time spent with Him, reading His Word, the Holy Spirit "preaching" to us in our hearts.  We may even sing to express our worship.

But Sunday is a day when God gathers His people together to worship Him as a congregation.  Sunday is not about us individually.  This is where many believers err.  We think going to Sunday is about us individually.  It's not.  It's the day that God gathers His people to worship Him together, to sing together, to listen to a message for the church together.  It's about being with others, gathering as the body of Christ, worshiping together, listening together, and being in fellowship with one another.

Without this, our Christian growth is stunted.  Because not only are we to worship with our lives, individually, in our own private moments, but we are also called to worship together with other believers.

Both our individual and corporate worship become God's avenue for our spiritual satisfaction and growth.

Hebrews 10:24-25  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.  (25)  Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

A Taste of Honey

Honey is my new sugar.  For a while now I have stopped using sugar to sweeten my brewed coffee every morning.  I now use honey.  It wasn't for health reasons, I don't have high sugar count or anything like that.  I think it started when someone gave me a bottle of honey as a gift, tried it in my coffee, and ever since then I have not stopped using it.  Once in a while I take a tablespoon of it as an added boost of energy during the day.
When I take coffee in a coffee shop or restaurant my first instinct is to look for honey.  But because not all serve honey I settle for brown sugar, or muscovado.  But if honey is available then that's what I take.
If you "google" honey there are so many benefits that come with it.  I'm not that conscious about all the benefits, I just know that it is a lot better than sugar healthwise, and it tastes really good!
How can you resist something that both tastes good and is good for the health of our body?  It becomes something you enjoy, both for the taste and the benefit.


Proverbs 24:13-14 (NIV)

¹³Eat honey, my son, for it is good;

honey from the comb is sweet to your taste.

¹⁴Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul;

if you find it, there is a future hope for you,

and your hope will not be cut off.

 In the same way God's wisdom is good.  It not only "tastes" good, but it is healthy for the soul.  The thing is we have been used to the sweet things that the world has to offer, not realizing that what God offers is better.
As the psalmist says - wisdom is sweet to the soul.  For a Christian, when the Spirit brings God's word of wisdom to our hearts it is sweet.  To someone who isn't walking with the Lord that wisdom may not be sweet at all...it may be nonsense to him.  But to someone who loves the Lord and walks with Him, wisdom is so sweet we look for it everyday!
And when we find it, there is a future hope for us!  Why?  It's wisdom.  It's God's wisdom.
The wisdom of the world offers temporary hope, but eventually it bites us in the behind and leaves us hopeless.
God's wisdom is for eternity.

So will you settle for the "sugar" the world offers, or will you eat of the honey that comes from God, His wisdom for your soul?
Take it daily.  It's healthy.

Music and Worship

I love listening to music.  I have memories of my parents listening to their records, and then my older siblings enjoying the music of our time.  Eventually I became an avid music listener.  Everytime we would ride our family car the radio would be on.  When my parents were not watching tv, they were listening to music.  It eventually passed on to us.  If we were not watching tv, we were listening to music.  When "Walkman" was invented, we each had one.
I just loved listening to music.  I would buy records of songs I heard on the radio, and kept my personal collection.  When cassette tapes were invented, I bought them.  When CD's came into the picture, I would buy them.  Even when I became a Christian I would have a personal collection of Christian contemporary music.
My personal preference through the years became Jazz.  But I enjoyed Soul, Motown, Pop music of our time.  Almost all music from A to Z I listened to them.

Which is probably why when I'm tired, when I need a break, I usually run to music.  I have a collection of the songs I used to listen to during my teenage and young adult years, and I would listen to them again.  Sometimes Jazz, sometimes 70's pop and soul music.  I would just sit down and listen to music.  It would bring me back in time, my younger years, and sort of relax me.
I love listening to music.  It's my R&R, my time of relaxation.  I guess you can say that it is my refuge when I'm tired, when I need to relax.

But it's not my ultimate refuge.
Psalms 18:1-2 (NIV)
¹

I love you, O LORD, my strength.

²The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;

my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.

He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

There is something much deeper than my enjoyment of music, that serves as a foundation of my heart - worship.  Worship is not singing.  It's recognizing who someone or something is in your life, and you express it.  For me it is my God.  And sometimes my worship is expressed through music, or singing.  But not all the time.
But I realize that, inspite of my love for my music, and my tendency to listen to it when I seek relaxation or rest, my heart runs to another tower, another refuge - and that is my God.
Yes, sometimes it takes a nice contemporary Christian song.  maybe a worship song sung during our Sunday services.  Sometimes I listen to Christian Jazz, hymns and songs jazzed up.
But my real refuge is God Himself.

And I have to be reminded, time and time again, by the Lord, that I am to take refuge in Him.  For it is only in Him that I can have real rest, real peace.
Listening to music may temporarily give me some form of rest, but for me to face the life this world throws at me, I need to bow down and worship.
And that's why I thank God that He has revealed Himself to me as my Rock, my fortress and Deliverer, and i can take refuge in Him always!

I love music.  But I worship my God.  He is my Rock, Fortress and Deliverer.  And in Him I can rest.